THE POPE
After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo,
(and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope still standing
on the curb. ‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver,’ Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive
at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and now that I’m Pope, I’d really
like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my
job! And what if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing
he’d never gone to work that morning.

‘Who’s going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it
for you,’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
(Remember, he’s German.)

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope
keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. ‘Oh, De ar God, I’m
gonna lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets
on the radio. ‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo
going a hundred and five.

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really big,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,’ All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, ‘Who ya got there, the Mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘ The Governor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘The President?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘Who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is stumped, ‘ You been drinking, John? ‘

Cop: ‘ No Sir.’

Chief : ‘ Then what makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘He’s got the Pope as a chauffeur.’