Happy Thanksgiving guys, hope that you and your family is at one piece and continue to loves its others. Text Messages collections updates are on the way, hope this batch will enlighten your hearts and soul.

Happy Thanksgiving again...

Hello guys, Halloween is fast approaching so let me start this short batch of text messages - a Halloween Text messages you could forward. Good day and enjoy.

Text Message 571. A black baby was given a set of wings by God. The baby asked "Does this mean I'm an angel". God laughed and replied, "Nah niggah you are a bat!" Happy Halloween.

Text Message 572. Just like a ghost,you’ve been haunting’ my dreams, So I’ll propose on Halloween.Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.

Text Message 573. Imagine if there is no seven and Channel 2’s the only one
Makikita araw araw Ay mukha lang ni Pokwang,makikita araw araw ay mukhang aswang! Happy Halloween guys...

Text Message 574. There is a group of students in a laboratory, each is holding a bottle of aborted fetus. One of them got her phone ringing and it was her dad. The girl ran screaming outside the lab. Why? Her dad on the other line said, “Asan ka ba? Bakit ang ingay, puro batang umiiyak!” Good night! Happy Halloween!

Text Message 575. Black magic, voodoo dolls, Skeletons, vampire, witches, Dracula, werewolf, snakes, satan, ghosts, living dead, zombies... They are all that could scare me to death, but they are nothing compare to you... hihihi Happy Halloween

Text Message 576. Santa Clause went out from North Pole, Ride his reindeer and head to town full of gifts and toys. He stop above one scary big house, and went down using the chimney. He froze seeing blood all around him, someone is murder in Christmas Day? Then he see Dracula hanging upside down in the ceiling, it hit him.. Santa is to early, he is drunk again! Happy Halloween fellow!

Text Message 577. A guy walks into a library and says to the prim librarian, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have books on suicide?” To which, she stops her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, “Fuck off, you bugger, you won’t bring it back!”

Text Message 578. Napansin ng Ama na pag tulog ang anak may binibigkas ito. “Nyt mami dadi lola, BYE
LOLO” Kinabukasan, namatay si Lolo! Pagkalipas ng 1 buwan, binigkas nito. “Nyt mami dadi, BYE LOLA” Kinabukasan, namatay si Lola! Pagkalipas ng 1 Linggo, binigkas nito. “Nyt mami, BYE Dadi” Kinabahan si Dadi, di nakatulog, kinbukasan namatay Ang DRIVER! Happy Hallowen

Text Message 579. BOY: Bakit hindi ka inabot ng isang linggo kina pare? JUAN: 1st day ko dun, natalo ang manok niya sa sabong, tinola ang ulam namin. 2nd day, pinatay ang baboy, lechon ang ulam namin. 3rd day, pinatay ang kambing, kaldereta ang ulam namin. 4th day namatay ang lolo ni pare, kaya umuwi na agad ako. hehehe Happy Halloween!

Text Message 580. The poor Mexican was laying on his death bed with only hours to live. Suddenly he smelled the tamales he loved so dearly. So the terminally ill man pulled himself out of bed and crawled to the kitchen. There his wife was removing a fresh batch from the stove top. As he reached for one, his wife smacked him on the head with a spoon, “Leave them alone! They’re for your funeral.”

The Parrot & The Magician
A magician needed a break from the stress of city living, and so took a job on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The pay was average, but the perks were good, and as the audience would be different each week, the magician didn’t have to practice to hard: he could repeat the same tricks every week.

However, over time, a small problem developed. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week, and began to understand how the magician did each trick. The parrot began squawking during the show…
"Look, it's not the same hat"…
"He's hiding the flowers under the table"…
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" …

The magician was furious, but, of course, he couldn’t do anything about it. The captain would not have been happy if anything had happened to his parrot.

One night the parrot starts again to tell how the magician's tricks work. The magician pulls out a gun and shoots at the parrot. The parrot dodged the bullet; it hit a propane tank and blew the ship into a million pieces. The only two survivors were the magician and the parrot.
The magician found himself sharing a piece of wood floating in the Caribbean Sea with the parrot. They stared at each other for a few minutes.

Finally, the parrot broke the silence:

"OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

Random Thoughts
If you are family man, travel and skying would be perfect or even a cruise in the Caribbeans. That is if you are Nouveau Riche, if you are not you can still treat your family this Christmas season by driving them to Circus, a perfect place for family get together Nouveau Riche boy.

Nouveau Riche or Not does not matter really if you are contented and happy of what you have. The status is just a bonus for the efforts you put in line.

THE POPE
After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo,
(and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope still standing
on the curb. ‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver,’ Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive
at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and now that I’m Pope, I’d really
like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my
job! And what if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing
he’d never gone to work that morning.

‘Who’s going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it
for you,’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
(Remember, he’s German.)

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope
keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. ‘Oh, De ar God, I’m
gonna lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets
on the radio. ‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo
going a hundred and five.

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really big,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,’ All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, ‘Who ya got there, the Mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘ The Governor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘The President?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘Who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is stumped, ‘ You been drinking, John? ‘

Cop: ‘ No Sir.’

Chief : ‘ Then what makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘He’s got the Pope as a chauffeur.’